Says he's glad "my Weiner days are behind me."
EW YORK Representative Anthony Weiner, seeking to end the controversy once and for all over a lewd photo sent from his Twitter account, has announced that he has legally changed his last name to "NothingToLookAtHere."
"I am so glad to announce to you today that my Weiner days are behind me," said Congressman NothingToLookAtHere. "Today I'm just a Joe Blow, I mean just a Joe NothingToLookAtHere. So you can all go away now. I've got to get back to representing my district, and working harder than I've ever worked before."
Asked what prompted the legal name change, the congressman said, "I was so bone tired of getting harangued about a non-issue such as tweeting or not tweeting someone who may or may not be a hot coed with what may or may not have been a hot photo of me, that I figured if I unveiled the new me, you would not waste your time and mine the way you did with the old me. I don't think I can be any more suckcinct. Succinct."
Mr. NothingToLookAtHere's lovely wife of one year, Huma Abedin, reportedly has yet to decide whether to keep her original surname or adopt her husband's new one.
"I think she's worried about fitting the new last name on her business cards," said a friend of Ms. Abedin's who spoke on condition of anonymity, "so that Anthony doesn't tweet me or something."
Ms. Abedin was not available for comment on the tweeting controversy or the name change, having suddenly left the country on what an aide to the Congressman called "extremely pressing business that she says might keep her out of the U.S. for several months at least."
Representative NothingToLookAtHere said he would miss his wife, "but boy do I know what pressing business looks like, and it really does need your immediate attention when it happens. That lady is a real trooper, and no I'm not hinting that I'd like to dress up as a trooper and tweet my hot self around. You might have tried to pin that on the old me, but that won't work with Mr. NothingToLookAtHere."
© 6.3.11 Kate Heidel