iTeeth lower the bar on barf marketing.
OT TO BE outdone by Internet ads of women continually alternating from old hags to wrinkle-free debutantes, or the eerie, perma-dancing tiny people selling mortgages, creators of the ubiquitous ads for teeth-whitening secrets have surprised no one by easily running away with the Web's most coveted advertising award honoring miserable taste.
"Recognition as the Internet's 'Most Aesthetically Challenged' ad campaign is getting increasingly difficult to achieve," asserts Rob Bradley, President of the Internet Awards Consortium, "given how much competition is out there. I didn't think you could get more tasteless than a naked dancing fetus, but that's the fun part of my job—there's always something more disgusting right around the corner."
The Whiter Teeth campaign, known for it's gritting yellow grimaces and close ups of before-and-after chops, will be rewarding its creative staff by sending them on "a truly tasteless junket consisting of strip joints, prostitutes, and hotels in questionable neighborhoods," said a spokesman who wished not to be identified due to the high probability of being hunted down and heartily clubbed to death by grossed-out Internet surfers.
Rumors are already flying that the Whiter Teeth creative team is soon to take its dental fixation to another level of tastelessness over the next few months.
Mr. Bradley was hesitant to discuss the rumors, not because he had any qualms about spreading unconfirmed hearsay, "but because you may want to eat sometime in the next three days, and I guarantee it'll take longer than that to get your appetite back."
© 9.3.09 Kate Heidel
