"Wear Your Cape" reports, you decide.
LTHOUGH THE twelve members of the so-called Super Congress who will decide phase two of the budget bill have not even been named yet, already there is great dissension over what the Super Congress members' capes should look like.
Minority Leader of the House, Nancy Pelosi, weighed in by suggesting "a blue satin cape with a Congressional insignia appliqué in the center, surrounded by a lovely garland of silk Armani leaf work."
House Speaker John Boehner quickly shot back with his signature "Hell, no!" and his own design, featuring a cape in red, white, and blue stripes and a ring of white stars around a neckline that could be cinched into a relentless choke hold as needed.
Tea Partiers have threatened to scuttle any cape design that does not have "NO Taxashin without Represnetashin!!" emblazoned across the back.
In the Senate, Minority Leader Mitch McConnell is demanding "a mighty cape that will cap and balance, slash Social Security and Medicare in a single bound, and fly global warming freaks to the North Pole. We'd bring them food and water several times a week, because we're a great nation."
For his part, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is opting for a cape "that will raise my voice to a medium whisper, and drop it half an octave, which, from my perspective, would be a super power."
President Obama, enjoying a birthday bash to celebrate turning 50, stated he would "under no circumstances enter the cape fray, except to say that Republicans have some great ideas, and if I were in Congress, I'd meet them half way. But that's where I'd draw the line. Unless they keep having great ideas, in which case I'd meet them more like 98 percent of the way, so John Boehner doesn't hurt me."
© 8.5.11 Kate Heidel
