BP Presumptive Winner of 'So You Think You Can Pollute the Entire Gulf Region for Decades to Come?'

Summer blockbuster television hit popular, but thought to lack competitive spirit.

ITH 2010's summer season of favorites like "So You Think You Can Dance?" and "Last Comic Standing" ready to pull in some meaningful viewership numbers, the most popular summer fare is turning out to be a brand-new surprise entry called "So You Think You Can Pollute the Entire Gulf Region for Decades to Come?"

The blockbuster newcomer is also ushering in unprecedented cooperation among networks, as the reality-dramedy series is airing on all major stations, as well as various cable outlets. Time slots are also up for grabs, although the sole advertiser is Dawn dishwashing liquid, which has signed a ten-year contract to underwrite the popular new hit show it hopes "will define reality-dramedy for the foreseeable future."

Despite spectacular ratings, television critics cite the summer sensation's "serious lack of competitive edge," pointing out that, so far, the only contestant with any real talent for polluting the entire Gulf region "is clearly oil giant British Petroleum." Other contestants, comprised of couples from around the United States, are as one critic observed, "simply not up to the task of polluting a major portion of the Gulf, and that leaves us wanting more in the way of real competition from this otherwise gripping new entry on the summer schedule."

Contestants Jim and Jenny Parker of Salina, Kansas, agree.

"We do the best we can, but our little buckets of bacon grease are just no match for BP," admitted Jenny Parker. "The best we've done so far is gunked up about three square feet near the shoreline. It made things rough going for one seagull for about fifteen minutes, didn't it, Jim? Don't get me wrong, we're proud of our accomplishment! But it's nothing compared to underground plumes of oil stretching hundreds of miles. Awesome!"

Added Jenny's husband, "I think BP is pretty much the hands-down winner in the comedy portion of the show as well, honey. Who can compete with crazy gizmos called 'top hat' and 'containment dome'? And then the CEO saying he wants his life back? I mean, we're not trained in comedy like these guys."

Critics agree, and are hoping the couples will get a much-needed boost in their comedy segments with the scheduled celebrity guest appearances of former and current governors Eliot Spitzer and Mark Sanford.

"Mark and I not only know oily better than just about anyone," boasted Mr. Spitzer, "but we were, as you know, two of the funniest guys on television for awhile."