Had hoped for a girl to give her every advantage in hotness.
pregnant Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, the popular costar of MTV's reality series Jersey Shore, confirmed today that she discontinued playing how-to makeup YouTubes to her unborn child the minute she learned she was carrying a boy.
The expectant Jersey Girl said having to cancel makeup training sessions with her fetus made her a little wistful for what might have been.
"I guess I was secretly hoping for a little girl," admitted Snooki. "I really, really wanted to give her early makeup lessons, so she would know how to become totally hot way before her girlfriends did," said the MTV celebrity.
Snooki placed a laptop in front of her belly and played how-to YouTubes for an hour every day until she learned the baby was male.
"I started with the basics," said the reality star, "like how to apply lip liner, lipstick, highlight lip gloss, mascara, base shadow, crease shadow, contour shadow, eyeliner, mascara, shimmer eye shadow, mascara, base coat foundation, under-eye concealer, mascara, blush, highlighter, and mascara," she said.
"The glamor look would come later, maybe when she was six months along," added the mother-to-be.
Since her baby would often kick during the YouTubes, "I thought she was enjoying them," Snooki said. "It was like we were bonding. But then it turned out he was a boy, so maybe he was just pissed that Mommy was showin' him girly-girl stuff."
As luck would have it, Jersey Shore's other big star, Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino, has gallantly stepped up to the plate, bringing over P90X workout DVDs to train the fetus he's taken to calling "The Bruiser."
The Situation said Snooki's unborn child would be introduced to the concept of "muscle confusion" and also receive a primer on vitamin supplements for building bulk.
"I want The Bruiser to kick my ass by the time he's thirteen," said The Situation.
Sources confirmed the ass kicking would make Snooki "very proud."
© 6.7.12 Kate Heidel
