Romney Promises 'Binders Full of Foreign Policy' if Elected

May have to "swap out" some binders full of women to make it all fit.

Binder Rings 2
photo credit: jkfid

URING LAST night's final Presidential debate centering on foreign policy, Republican hopeful Mitt Romney insisted that he was in possession of "binders full of foreign policy" that he would "open at the appropriate time" to address "all kinds of challenging foreign policy issues large and small."

When asked to be more specific as to how he would handle, for example, the Middle East, or terror threats from al Qaeda, Romney said, "My binders will tell me exactly what I need to do. Being that they are sensitive, top-secret binders, I am not at liberty to be more specific without endangering American lives. But I can tell you that each binder contains more than the average number of dividers."

Romney went on to attack President Obama's successful bin Laden operation, insisting that if he were President, "I would have implemented my bin Laden binder, which would have ensured no crashed helicopters and a much better name for the operation. Sorry I can't divulge specifics, but I can tell you the name starts with an 'O,'" said Romney.

The Republican candidate also criticized Mr. Obama for his "binderless policy on China," interrupting moderator Bob Schieffer by insisting that "President Obama is only pretending to have a binder on China, when clearly he doesn't when he can't even answer what color it is. That is a simple question, Mr. President."

Toward the end of the candidates' final debate, former Governor Romney admitted when pressed by Bob Schieffer that he may need to "swap out a few of my binders full of women to accommodate my vast array of foreign policy papers," which Mr. Romney explained "could otherwise fall into the binders of our enemies."

Romney declined to say exactly how many women binders he might need to use, but did say he would place their contents "in a reliably safe place, probably somewhere in Switzerland or the Caymans."