Devin Nunes Attains Hard-Earned Goal of Becoming National Embarrassment

"It's hard to find the words," says national embarrassment.

Devin Nunes
photo credit: Ruperto Miller

OUSE INTELLIGENCE Committee Chairman Devin Nunes, who pushed hard for the release of a highly partisan memo critical of the FBI's handling of the Russia investigation, is celebrating the achievement of his lifelong career goal of becoming a national embarrassment before the age of 45.

At a time when President Trump had elevated the qualifications for becoming a national embarrassment to dizzying new heights, Nunes' accomplishment is considered by many to be a singular achievement.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi praised Nunes as "truly a national embarrassment for our time." Nunes' Democratic counterpart in the House Intelligence Committee, Adam Schiff, said "Congressman Nunes has embarrassed himself in a way I thought no one but Donald Trump himself could do. Congratulations to my not-so-esteemed colleague."

Nunes, who often appears to have just been caught by his mother doing something extremely naughty, was rendered all but speechless when informed that his career goal had finally been reached.

"It's hard to find the words," said Nunes, backing away from reporters in his signature embarrassing style and scurrying into the nearest office, locking the door behind him.

As America’s new national embarrassment, Congressman Nunes will enjoy numerous opportunities that weren’t open to him before, such as not speaking at various college commencements for fear of embarrassing himself, and receiving no medals of honor or other, similar accolades whatsoever.

"Being a national embarrassment is kind of its own thing," noted one political observer. "Devin Nunes has really distinguished himself that way. And even though most of us will never in our own lifetimes achieve what Nunes has before he's reached his 45th birthday, at least we can all share in the embarrassment of having him in our midst."