"You may kiss my hand," insists the mommy monarch.
CTUPLET MOTHER Nadya Suleman, bouncing back nicely from a grueling multiple birth, has just founded the smallest country on earth in her Whittier, California, three-bedroom home. Provisionally named Nadyaland, the new region's designation may be changed to Angelstan, in honor of the middle name Ms. Suleman gave each of her octuplets.
"I've always desired lots and lots and lots and lots of children," said Ms. Suleman, "yet I never considered the consequences until now. But then it came to me in a dream: God said, 'Nadya, found thyself a country, over which thou shalt reign as Queen of all your holdings, yea, even unto the backyard.' And now I am Queen Nadya. Why are you not bowing before me, swine?" asked the proud and haughty Queen of Nadyaland.
Preparations are underway in the young nation to receive President Obama and the First Lady for what will be Nadyaland's first state dinner. On the menu is rumored to be Scottish cuisine from the illustrious MacDonald clan, and Poulet Frit du Kentuckie, both original and crispy preparations.
"We are traditionalists at heart," noted Prince Elijah, Queen Nadya's oldest son from a previous multiple birth, "but we are open to new innovations, for they will make our infant nation great. I mean, our nation of infants great."
Queen Nadya further announced that, after the glorious festivities, her first order of business as monarch would be to discuss the matter of foreign aid with President Obama.
"Our fledgling nation desires to be friends with the United States," said the new Queen, "and what great and compassionate leader could look upon fourteen children and not empty his pockets?"
© 3.5.09 Kate Heidel