Obama to Visit Medical Marijuana States, Will Bring Toll House Cookies

President vows to personally oversee "each and every clinic."

OLLOWING THE Obama administration's decision not to prosecute patients prescribed medical marijuana or the clinics who legally provide the weed in fourteen states, the President is setting out on an aggressive multi-state tour to ensure that "everything is going smoothly," according to a White House spokesman.

"The President wants to visit each and every clinic in every state with medical marijuana laws because, as he has said, 'It's the right thing to do,'" continued the spokesman. "I've offered to accompany him, as has every member of the White House staff, from janitor on up to Vice President Biden, but the President has said this is a responsibility he must take entirely upon himself."

A priority item on the President's agenda is the chance to meet one-on-one with clinicians and patients, to get what he calls "the full scoop" on which therapies have been most successful with the controversial weed.

"These are closed-door, information-gathering sessions during which the President intends to take all the time he needs," stressed the spokesman. "I believe they are closed-window sessions, too, if I'm not mistaken."

The president has also indicated that one round of clinic tours may not be sufficient to assess the effectiveness of medical treatments with marijuana over the long term.

"Mr. Obama has already given us the heads-up that this trip may prove to be his first annual clinic tour," said the spokesman. "He has asked us to clear his schedule every October for the foreseeable future. After all, even after he is no longer president he can certainly visit the clinics as a concerned statesman."

Immediately after completing his fourteen-state tour, Mr. Obama is scheduled to fly to Amsterdam for peace talks and a double-chocolate brownie conference.