Romney Would Team with McDonald's to Offer Health-Care McVouchers for Poor

Vouchers also good for specialty coffee drinks at participating McDonald's.

OT OFF HIS big Florida primary win, Republican Mitt Romney unveiled his own health-care plan for the nation during a campaign stop in Minnesota.

Mr. Romney announced his intention to partner with McDonald's in offering the poorest of uninsured Americans a packet of "health-care McVouchers," which could be used to help purchase "one real doctor's appointment," screening tests "for poor-people conditions, like acne," and some minor out-patient procedures such as ear-wax removal or ingrown-toenail clipping.

"Now that I'm on my feet a lot campaigning, I've developed empathy over sore feet!" Romney explained. "Imagine what it's like to be homeless and walking around all day, that is when you're not lying around drinking with your buddies by the railroad tracks," mused the candidate.

Mr. Romney also promised annual reviews of McVoucher coverage to determine the need for potential improvements.

"Let me say this to the American people: If I ever need an appendectomy, you can be sure that procedure will be fast-tracked as a McVoucher enhancement!" deduced the Republican. "In the meantime, I think poor Americans will be pretty happy to know their McVouchers can also be exchanged for any one of McDonald's fine specialty coffee drinks!"

The former Governor hailed his national McVoucher system as "a model of individual choice in America. Is little Billy really sick with meningitis, or just hungry? I think I'll leave that call up to Mom."

Romney gave one last boost to his health-care initiative by telling the enthusiastic crowd his McVouchers program was "as good as gold, which, for our poor friends, is a precious metal that is currently going gangbusters in the commodities market."