Strange behaviors all just an act to further her education.
IMULTANEOUS WITH Lindsay Lohan's latest suggestion that she be addressed only as "Lindsay," a source close to the seemingly troubled actress has revealed that all of Lohan's antics are actually course requirements toward a degree in Psychology.
"She's only got ten credits left to complete, and she's super excited to graduate," stated the source.
Lohan, who is apparently a "straight-A student," is majoring in Abnormal Psychology, with an emphasis in anti-social behavior. According to the anonymous source, the actress is taking an "accelerated" path with advanced coursework so that she can apply some of her credits toward a Masters Degree.
"Lindsay would like to take on clients in just a few years, so that she can finally stop acting like a pampered brat and start helping them instead," said the source.
Lohan has opted for a course of so-called field work, which has students doing practical study in the real world instead of the classroom because, the source claims, "this way Lindsay experiences first hand how a spoiled young star could have it all and still go so horribly wrong and piss everybody off."
Recently the actress completed her field work in the criminal justice system, testing how pouty tantrums, hysterical whiny crying, and low-cut outfits in the courtroom would affect outcomes for her future pampered clients.
"Lindsay discovered exactly how far a celebrity could go before the first lawyer quits," the source said. "She just gave it her all, and then she went on a photo shoot for extra credit. Lindsay is the poster girl for higher education."
Lohan's final thesis will focus on the celebrity rehab experience, which the actress has researched extensively over the last several years.
"If Lindsay chose to open her own rehab center, I'll bet it would be on a par with Dr. Drew's," claimed the anonymous source, "only with better food and massage therapy."
© 3.31.11 Kate Heidel