Why I Should Be on the Twenty-Dollar Bill Instead of Harriet Tubman: Pros and Cons, By Louise Linton

Louise Linton
photo credit: Wikimedia Commons


ROS:

I grew up in a castle, for Christís sake.

I am Mrs. Secretary of the U.S. Treasury!

Stevie tells me that any one of my Instagram outfits "rivals the GDP of a small nation." Isn't he darling?

Town and Country devoted an entire article just to my wedding jewels. The last time I looked, we buy jewels with money.

There were so many jewels they simply didnít have ROOM to get to my Ines di Santo wedding gown. Whatís that you say? Who is Ines di Santo?? Lots and lots of money.

Guess who flew with her hubby on a private government jet just to go shopping because hubby happens to be the goddamn Secretary of the goddamn Treasury? Hint: It's not Harriet Tubman ;-)

My familyís castle is called "Melville." Remember that name, for you will see it etched on the back of my twenty-dollar bill. It will also be the closest to Melville you'll ever get.


Cons:

Harriet Tubman owned a railroad, I think. I do not own a railroad. Well played, Harriet.