Berlusconi Offers to Triple Community Service Sentence, At Lingerie Shop

Ready and willing to give it his all.

Silvio Berlusconi
photo credit: rogimmi

ORMER ITALIAN Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who was sentenced to one year of community service at a home for the elderly, has petitioned the court through his attorneys to triple his sentence under certain conditions.

Mr. Berlusconi's attorneys say their client "is making this generous offer if he is permitted to serve time at his favorite lingerie shop, La Bella Donna."

A copy of the petition was released to the press, tied with a pink satin ribbon. Mr. Berlusconi's lead attorney summarized the main thrust of the petition's argument in English for an international press corps outside the Italian courthouse:

"Italy's great Prime Minister, Signor Berlusconi, he knows so little of the old folks and their ways. But yet, so much does he know of the lingerie of Italy, and how it may help a young woman to know herself, love herself!

And how does this minor venue change not help all of Italy?? The old people, they are dying away, so that the year with them in this community service will come to nothing. They are dead!

But, three years in La Bella Donna, and all the women are fitted very personally by Signor Berlusconi himself. They will look so beautiful! Truly this is the community service, no??"

Mr. Berlusconi was not available to speak directly to the press. One attorney on the former Prime Minister's team revealed that his client was currently in seclusion, busily designing lingerie "just in case."