ENATOR JOSEPH Lieberman, who lost his bid in Connecticut as the Democratic candidate for the U.S. Senate seat he has held for 18 years, launched his bus tour of Connecticut from the state's capital city, Hartford, this week.
Standing at a podium before a small crowd of supporters, Senator Lieberman shouted, "That Senate seat in Washington, D.C. is MINE, you hear me? MINE!! That's MY parking space, and MY lifetime healthcare! And those lobbyist people, they shake hands with ME! And no big dumb dummy like Ned Lamont is gonna take them away from me!!"
Encouraged by scattered applause, Lieberman continued, his lower lip protruding ever further. "What kind of dumb, stupid name is 'Ned' anyway? That's not a real name. He's a big fake! And you're even stupider than I thought if you'd vote for a total fake like Ned Stupid Lamont."
At this, Senator Lieberman turned around and stuck out his rear end, shaking it back and forth tauntingly at the small crowd.
"Everyone of you who didn't vote for me is a big, fat butthead!!" shouted the senator, turning back around to face the ever-thinning audience and stomping up and down in full tantrum.
A young man called out to Lieberman, "You're a sore loser, Senator! You should accept the will of the voters!"
Lieberman shook both fists at the speaker and shouted, "Oh, yeah? So you're such a big smart guy, you think you know all about the 'will of the voters'?" he sneered, sarcastically mimicking the young man's words. "Well here's what I think about your big stupid 'will of the voters'!"
Senator Lieberman repeatedly stuck his tongue out at the now almost non-existent audience and called out "nyah-nyah" taunts toward anyone still within earshot.
"I hate you, I HATE you!!" cried Lieberman, led off the podium by two bodyguards firmly steering the disconsolate senator onto his campaign bus.
As the bus pulled away, Lieberman stuck his head out of a window and cried, "Last one on the bus is a rotten egg!"
© 2006 Kate Heidel