Laura Bush Releases Album of Hits As Sizzling As That Slutty Carla Bruni's

Sizzling, yet somehow completely wholesome and patriotic.

ot to be outdone by the French First Lady's latest album release Comme Si de Rien N'Etait (As If Nothing Had Happened), America's First Lady Laura Bush announced today that her first album, I Wish We Could Dance and Read At the Same Time (J'adore Le Fromage Bleu), was scheduled for release to coincide with the upcoming holiday shopping season.

Sally McDonough, Press Secretary for the First Lady, told reporters, "We are confident that Mrs. Bush's song stylings will prove every bit as enchanting as that of Ms. Bruni's, but with an all-American, non French-slutty twist."

Ms. McDonough went on to characterize the First Lady's premiere album, as "a delightful mix of standards and a few original tunes that the First Lady penned herself. We think Americans, indeed the world, will be pleasantly surprised. And Ms. Bruni may want to scoot aside her little French-Italian derrière to make room on the international pop charts."

Some of the standards are personal favorites of Mrs. Bush, including "It's Not Easy Being Green," "Jailhouse Rock," and "Old Man River," which, Ms. McDonough pointed out, "nicely highlights the First Lady's lower vocal range and black stereotyping skills."

The First Lady wrote six originals for her first musical foray, three of which Ms. McDonough named as "top of the charts in my iPod." They are: "Let's Go Dancing in Our Pantsuits," "Librarians Are Hot Also," and "Laid Is the Past Participle of Lay, Hey-Hey."

"That last one really rocks the house, and not in a wimpy French way," said Ms. McDonough.