'Jon & Kate Plus a Variable Number of Dalliances' Spinoff on Tap

That's just the working title.

N RESPONSE TO the media frenzy over the marital woes plaguing Jon and Kate Gosselin, of TLC's blockbuster Jon & Kate Plus 8 fame, the network has announced plans to launch a spinoff they say "will put a cracked but still delicious cherry on the troubled, crumbling sundae that is Jon and Kate's marriage."

"Married life is no picnic while raising eight children, even when your union is sound," said Jennifer Stocks, Producer of the popular reality television show. "But when both the husband and wife are fooling around on the side, married life is more like a destructive tornado wreaking havoc and severe injury upon everyone at the non-picnic.

"Therefore, TLC is planning a spinoff of Jon & Kate Plus 8 for our summer lineup that is sure to entertain and inform our viewers. For those of you who love family entertainment, send the kids to grandma's."

Ms. Stocks promised "non-stop hilarity," with Jon and Kate receiving equal airtime representation in their extra-marital affairs. Billed as "middle-American philanderers on a budget," the couple is seen juggling car-pool and playground duties with quick trips to the 7-11 for makeout sessions behind the Cracker Jack display.

"Every American parent today can relate to managing their dalliances on a tight budget," said Ms. Stocks. "Jon and Kate show us all how we can get a little on the side, even when there are as many as eight young mouths to feed. Our test audiences leave just wonderful comments on our surveys. Here's one: 'I never thought of the children's section of the library as my secret love den, but now I know better!' It makes all of us at TLC very proud."

Neither star of the new spinoff could be reached for comment, but Kate Gosselin's latest boyfriend, key grip Fred Binker, said she was "really pumped, and ready to roll."