photo credit: Gage Skidmore
"And it worked like a charm," said official.
photo credit: Gage Skidmore
HIGH-RANKING official for the Internal Revenue Service who spoke anonymously admitted that the targeting behavior it allegedly committed on Tea-Party groups had "a completely ulterior motive."
The IRS was not really targeting right-wing groups at all, according to the official, but instead making it look that way "just to watch Congresswoman Michele Bachmann go a little crazy again," he admitted.
"And it worked like a charm," he said, adding, "We just missed watching her total wackiness since the 2012 election. Is that such a crime?"
Bachmann, who did not disappoint and immediately began ranting about the IRS behavior being "worse than Watergate," has once again been making the media rounds "to our complete delight," said the IRS official.
He went on to express his relief that much of the press "has not even mentioned that a Bush-appointed IRS chief was in charge during our 'targeting' behavior.
"Not that it would make a bit of difference to Michele," he said, glowing. "No, she just went from zero to off the charts on the crazy meter in record time."
When the current media frenzy subsides, the IRS official sadly admitted "Michele will lose that wild look in her eyes that makes a room light up, albeit in a crazy way.
"But that will just inspire us to be more creative next time," he said. "We'll have to think of something that will keep her going longer, or at least make her episodes even nuttier. If that's possible."
Some thoughts on the table are faux detention centers for tax dodgers, "where we'll hire actors to go on pretend hunger strikes," and hiring a few black helicopters to fly over Michele Bachmann's home in Minnesota on tax day.
"Nothing would mean more to us as we fly by than to watch Michele scampering behind bushes, like she used to in the old days," the IRS official said, waxing nostalgic. "But for now, let's just enjoy today's craziness, shall we?"
© 5.21.12 Kate Heidel
