Help! Mom! Lesbians Are Taking over Comedy Television!

Delightful new offering of educational book series frightens children while making them laugh at others.

HE LATEST in the series of children's books penned by Katharine DeBrecht—author of Help! Mom! There are Liberals under My Bed! and Help! Mom! Radicals Are Ruining My Country!—employs the same endearing techniques that allowed children reading the earlier books to fear government while bonding with their lovingly strict, right-thinking parents. Albeit a departure from the overt theme of politics, the new Help! Mom! title still succeeds in striking that delicate balance between presenting frightening images of The Other and promoting wholesome family values.

Ms. DeBrecht tells the story of two pleasant little girls: "sweet, blonde Eleanor Degenerate" and "feisty, little black Wendy Dykes," who start out in life as two innocent children from well-meaning, American families.

But there's a fly in the ointment from the outset. As the author explains to its young readers, "neither Eleanor's nor Wendy's family attended church regularly, although they did celebrate the Lord's precious holidays of Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving."

Time passes quickly, and soon the girls are young women, who, against the entreaties of their loving parents, each embark on a "liberal and confusing" college education. There, both girls learn such "wacky college facts" as "other countries, even if they kill Americans, are equal to America, just different, is all," and "prisons are full of innocent people who were treated badly by mean policemen."

"It's no wonder," writes the author, "that Eleanor and Wendy were confused. It must be why they started going to parties where their friends did things that parents thought were bad and dangerous."

Once the two young women graduate from college, they both decide they would like to be comedians. The book's colorful illustrations show each woman making audiences laugh. Before long, Wendy and Eleanor each have their own television show, and it seems as if their college days did not leave a scar.

However, it soon becomes apparent that both women "are not quite right in the head." They "look at other women in strange and scary ways" and think thoughts that include "doing things with women that only a man and a woman should do together after they are married in a church before God."

Although some parents might feel that the content of this latest Help! Mom! title contains material too sensitive for youngsters, it should be noted that the book ends happily. The television network executives see the error of their ways and cancel both Eleanor's and Wendy's show. Both women fall into poverty, seek religious conversions, and become "cured of their terrible illness." Through "God's miracle, Eleanor becomes Mrs. George Clooney, and Wendy becomes Mrs. Denzel Washington."

Help! Mom! Lesbians Are Taking over Comedy Television! is being released to stores just in time for the Christmas shopping season.