Says there's "no excuse" for "embarrassing" quality released thus far.
photo credit: Shaun Merritt
ORONTO'S embattled mayor, Rob Ford, reeling from the release of yet another poor-quality video, this time showing the Mayor "drunk off my gourd" and ranting maniacally, called an emergency press conference to decry what he described as the "embarrassing" quality of videos currently making the rounds on YouTube and elsewhere.
"There is NO excuse for the lousy quality of videos showing me hammered on booze or juiced up on crack," the Mayor declared.
"Torontons, or whatever the hell you call them, and the rest of the world deserve better than to see just the bottom half of a guy jackin' up his slacks for two minutes before you can even tell the drunk fat guy threatening people is me," he said, referring to the latest video release.
Mayor Ford said it was the poor quality of the videos that made him deny at first that he had smoked crack while in office.
"I didn't want to admit I appeared in something so amateurish," he explained.
"And I just want my fellow Torontorians to know: this isn't the video I would've signed off on if I could sign my name while totally hammered."
The Mayor promised to fund a dedicated budget for his office "to create professional-quality videos of me not remembering anything I'm doing or saying."
In the mean time, Mayor Ford asked his millions of viewers to be patient, "because there's probably a few more crappy videos of me out there that were shot by some moron who doesn't know what the hell he's doing."
© 10.8.13 Kate Heidel