Democratic Candidate Ahead By Two Points in 2064 Presidential Poll

Current 2008 US Electoral College Polling Map
photo credit: via Wikimedia Commons

OLLSTERS LOOKING past the results for 2016's Presidential race are noticing a slim advantage for whoever will be the Democratic presidential candidate in 2064.

"Currently, we see a two-point margin for the Democrats," said a Zogby pollster. "It's not statistically significant at this early stage, but we're watching closely."

Most of the two-point advantage is coming from polling algorithms reacting to recent statements by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, a Republican who, against all odds, has been repeatedly praising President Obama in public.

According to statistical guru Nate Silver, "Governor Christie's recent nice behavior represents a seismic shift that is pulsating through our polling universe and affecting results for future time."

However, a poll of 1500 registered voters, as yet unaware of the Christie Effect, were about evenly split on this question:

"Pretending you are alive and fit in 2064 and not merely being pushed around the grounds of a nursing home by an aid who looks an awful lot like a convicted sex offender, would you identify yourself as a Democrat, a Republican, an Independent, or a party invented in 2060?"

Meanwhile, InStyle magazine is preparing a special fashion issue, "What to Wear to Run and Win in 2064!!" in giddy anticipation of a female candidate.

Hugh Hefner has already endorsed the Democrat, and, if she is female, will invite her to live at his mansion during the campaign "depending on how she turns out."