"Many vomiters came after me, and I blame myself," laments Mrs. Edwards.
N HER electrifying new memoir, Resilience: How I Prevailed Despite a Vomit-Inducing Creep of a Husband, Elizabeth Edwards reveals for the first time that her husband and Democratic Presidential candidate John Edwards "made me vomit well before he made anyone else vomit. I could have stopped it there, but I didn't."
Distinguishing between feelings of nausea at her husband's constant preening or denials of an affair with videographer Rielle Hunter—a vomit inducer in her own right—and outright hurling, Mrs. Edwards insisted, "John, up to the point of his confession, had never made anyone to my knowledge actually vomit. Then he told me the truth about his slutty mistress, and that's when I lost my lunch. And it had been such a lovely lunch, too, crêpes Suzette with a mixed green salad and a strawberry tart for dessert. I may as well have just thrown it all in the garbage. I hate wasting food when so many people are struggling to make ends meet. It makes me sick, but not sick enough to, you know."
Mrs. Edwards went on to say that she "selfishly decided to keep the affair a secret" and continue with the presidential campaign despite how sickened it might make much of the country should the word get out.
"During this influenza outbreak," reflected Mrs. Edwards, "I realize more than ever the folly of my ways. Scandal spreads quickly, much like the flu, and some of its symptoms turn out to be not unlike those of a nasty bug. There's the vomiting, naturally, or the fevered delirium during which you hallucinate that your husband isn't a complete a-hole for messing up a perfectly good marriage. But I should have limited the damage to just my toilet bowl and not let it spread to the bowls of others."
When asked whether the conditions of her marriage had improved, Mrs. Edwards sighed and said, "You know, there are good days and bad days. Some days I can hardly look at my husband without throwing up, and then other times I think, things will be okay, maybe I'm done vomiting. I'm beginning to suspect that forgiveness is around the corner, and yet I know I'll always remember where the bathroom is."
© 5.1.09 Kate Heidel
