Like, they just couldn't come up with anything until that Alaska lady yelled stuff.
AMIE MULTZER, the lead guitarist and spokesman for a Topeka, Kansas, death metal garage band, says that "the crazy lady from Alaska who's always yellin' into a mike and stuff" should receive all the credit for his band's "bitchin'" new name, Death Panels.
Mr. Multzer, 15, is referring of course to former Alaska Governor and Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, who, in an attempt to derail President Obama's health-care reform initiative, invoked the specter of "Death Panels" she claimed would decide whether someone lived or died.
"Cool," observed Mr. Multzer.
The death metal band—comprised of Jamie, his brother Jason on drums, his cousin Jeremy Picks on bass, and his best friend, Brad Colmes on keyboards—had been on hiatus during June and July "so that Brad could, like, travel to Canada with his stupid girlfriend," said Mr. Multzer.
But more than romance was keeping the band from perfecting its death metal chops, admitted the guitarist, referred to affectionately by his next-door neighbor as "that brain-dead creep."
"Yeah, like we couldn't come up with a name," said Mr. Multzer. "All our ideas were really bogus. Until Sarah Palin screamed 'Death Panels.' That is not bogus at all."
Having a band name has inspired Death Panels to pen three new tunes, all of which can be heard along with their vintage repertoire live every Friday night at the Multzer family garage from 6 p.m. until, Mr. Multzer said, "the cops come and yell at us to shut up."
The band also plans a limited-release cd of their new songs, as well as "one bitchin' party." The first song, "Sarah Palin," clearly pays homage "to the old lady who gave us our name, even though she's as old as my mom and she's a chick like my mom," said Mr. Multzer. "But, still."
Songs two and three, "Kill Phil," and "Patrick Miller on a Spike" express male adolescent frustrations with the challenges of interpersonal relations.
"Phil is my asshole neighbor," explained Mr. Multzer, "and Patrick Miller is a sucky senior in the Fall who should die on a spike."
© 8.18.09 Kate Heidel
