Bill Cosby Wins Coveted Statute of Limitations Award

Actor and comedian said sitting around complaining to Larry King about kids today while waiting for the statute of limitations to kick in "was one of the most rewarding distractions of my career."

photo credit: Penn State

O SOONER HAD damning 2005 testimony by comedian Bill Cosby come to light than the embattled actor learned he was the recipient of the highly coveted Statute of Limitations Award.

The award could not have come at a more propitious moment, since his unsealed testimony proved recent allegations that the actor had indeed drugged women in order to have sex with them.

Although the comedian and sometime rapist would not appear in public to accept the award, Mr. Cosby did release a statement indicating he was "proud to accept this honor on behalf of my wholesome T.V. persona, father and devoted husband, Dr. Cliff Huxtable."

Said Cosby, "Perhaps, with this award, both my fellow actors and the public will now fully appreciate, as I have these many years, why Dr. Huxtable was my most remarkable accomplishment, one which might now be remembered as the most challenging role of my professional life."

While waiting for enough time to pass to ensure he could not criminally be charged with sexual assault, Mr. Cosby said in his acceptance statement that he "greatly enjoyed passing a few hours with Larry King decrying the obscenities found in rap lyrics, as this allowed me to keep thinking about sex without actually drugging and raping anyone." He went on to call his visits with Larry King "one of the most rewarding distractions of my career."

Looking ahead, Cosby admitted, "realistically, I do not expect this award to open doors the way an Oscar or an Emmy would," but also said "closed doors have never stopped me before."