Cooper tired of posing for cameras on dangerous Arab streets.
NN'S sexiest commodity and sometime reporter Anderson Cooper has confirmed that his new CBS talk show "is a much better fit for my total hotness than reporting hard news, unless that news is about how rock hard my abs are."
The CNN anchor of AC 360 admitted that the rigors of reporting, particularly in dangerous locations like Egypt and Libya, "makes it really tough for viewers to focus on my bitchin' bod, even in tight t-shirts, where you can really check out my manly guns. That whole 'Arab Spring' business was taking center stage, which is not going to happen on my new talk show, dude."
Cooper, a.k.a. The Silver Fox, says he is "pumped" to start his new adventure on CBS, "bringing on all the hot stars who have always wanted to be interviewed by me, but never had anything 'newsworthy' to talk about. And although most of my guests will be quite bootylicious, obviously none will ever be hotter than me," said Cooper, winking sexily.
The sizzling talk show host-to-be also wanted to quell any fears that his trademark pout, which some have compared to Derek Zoolander's patented "Blue Steel" pose, would not be in evidence on his new show, now that Cooper would have nothing serious to react to.
"Hello, there will be so many situations on my new show that will require pouting," insisted Cooper. "When some musician dude admits he has to re-enter rehab. When some actress babe confesses her secret love for me, but her man is one of my tight bros. The Pout is here to stay, people. Here it is now, check it out."
CNN's Wolf Blitzer, although available for comment, reacted instead with his patented blank stare. However, Blitzer's colleague John King confirmed "it was definitely a blank stare of encouragement and best wishes for Anderson."
© 8.31.11 Kate Heidel
