Claims fleshy Foxcaster was their "endless font."
URING A recent publishers conference in Chicago, Illinois, the creators of the Complete Idiot's Guide series revealed that their highly successful formula was perfected once they tapped into what one publisher called "the supreme archetype of complete idiocy himself, Glenn Beck." The series creators therefore admitted to being "crushed" that their "go-to idiot" was ending his show on the Fox network.
"With the demise of Glenn Beck's program on Fox also goes our endless font of complete idiocy," admitted one writer, speaking to a gathering at the conference. "For years we were spoiled rotten, to be frank, but now we're going to have to fend for ourselves without a complete idiot as our guiding star."
Offstage, another writer on the series agreed wholeheartedly.
"Whenever I had writer's block on a book, I would watch Glenn Beck's show for a few minutes. Almost immediately I was able to recapture what a complete idiot would need to know about my subject. Our series will definitely suffer without Beck's inspiration."
Rumors have already begun circulating that the publishers of the popular how-to books might retire the Complete Idiot series altogether, and replace it with a new, Relatively Incompetent series, with titles such as "German for the Relatively Incompetent."
"It would be difficult to switch gears when you've been riding the complete-idiot train," said a staff writer in response to the rumor. "I don't even know if I'd want to write for the relatively incompetent. Where's the challenge?"
Other series writers say they are holding out hope that Glenn Beck will continue being a complete idiot in another format, such as radio or movies, but admit that such options would pale in comparison to, as one series writer put it, "seeing your complete idiot on the tube five days a week."
"Our day in the sun is over, and the sooner we accept it, the better," said the writer of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Investing. "Now I understand how gay men feel about Judy Garland."
© 4.14.11 Kate Heidel