Twice-stricken actor considered a "person of interest."
CTOR AND Sudan activist George Clooney, recovering from his second bout of malaria, is being questioned by Italian authorities as a "person of interest" in the sudden rash of malaria cases spreading quickly through the gorgeous Italian model community.
Currently dating gorgeous Italian model Elisabetta Canalis, Clooney is, a spokesman for the Italian police in Rome confirmed, "one of the chief suspects in the spread of this dread disease among some of our most gorgeous models in Italy today."
The spokesman continued, "It would be just as if Carlo Ponti had infected Sophia Loren in the 60s. It is not possible for us to accept such a travesty, even if Mr. George Clooney himself, a delightful and handsome man, were responsible."
Mr. Clooney, who has already admitted being "more than a little foolish" for dating at least one gorgeous Italian model after his humanitarian trips to Sudan, has met with police on two separate occasions, and, said the spokesman, "could not have been more charming, more cooperative, more elegantly dressed. Even his cologne said, 'I am here to be of service, not to overwhelm the room with my powerful masculinity.' He is a real, how is it said, man of the man."
In the meantime, Italy's parliament has met in a special session to pass an emergency bill that will provide funding for "specialized medical attention to all gorgeous Italian models stricken with malaria, or who exhibit symptoms of malaria, or who have foolishly dined with Mr. George Clooney after his visits to malaria-infested Sudan."
Currently infected gorgeous Italian models are being whisked to Florence for intensive medical treatment in quarantine, "so as not to infect any other of our gorgeous models, or be tempted to meet Mr. George Clooney in secret," said the police spokesman, "for they are gorgeous, it is true, but also weak for his manly charms."
Mr. Clooney could not be reached for comment, but his publicist has confirmed that the actor has promised "a gorgeous Italian model moratorium" until the crisis passes, or until he switches to making humanitarian visits to Prada.
© 1.26.11 Kate Heidel