Men Continue Clipping Fingernails at Work, Despite It Being So Completely Gross

Women despair.

Nail clipper
photo credit: Michael David Pedersen

OTWITHSTANDING various strides made in the workplace to improve conditions for employees, men are continuing to clip their fingernails over their wastebaskets as they have done since the modern workplace came into existence.

"Sadly, we see no let-up in the clipping behavior," said one historian, "which means women are continuing to wince well into the 21st century."

Although men who clip their nails at work could just as well do the grooming at home in the privacy of their bathrooms, most see no reason why they can't wait until they get to work to begin the ritual described by a majority of women as "so completely gross."

"It's not like I'm farting or picking my nose," said Ned G. of Lansing, Michigan.

"You see the type of logic we're dealing with," said the historian.

Why men started bringing nail clippers to work at all remains a mystery, and one which has not been solved by the reasons men of today are giving for the behavior.

"I had one in the car, so I just brought it in with me," said John P. of Portland, Oregon.

Women nearing retirement say they feel for their younger female co-workers.

"They've got forty years of nail clipping ahead of them," said Myrtle B. of Cincinnati, Ohio. "I tell them, 'Honey, just walk away for a few minutes. You don't have to listen to that.' Some things never change, I guess."