Passengers can always shout "'Land Ho!' whenever the mood strikes."
photo credit: via Wikimedia Commons
ROUBLED CRUISE line Carnival has just announced a new "luxury leisure" vacation tour it hopes will bring new customers aboard.
Carnival's brand-new itinerary offers a ten-day tour of the Alabama coastline, promising "breathtaking views of Alabama's premier port city," and including "nightly ports of call to exciting downtown Mobilehome to exquisite colonial architecture, a thriving cultural center, and hundreds of clean restaurants outfitted with the latest in restroom technology."
The new Alabama Queen liner will, according to the just-released brochure, "gently ply Mobile's breathtaking bay in leisurely fashion, while Carnival offers up its usual vast array of world-class amenities until the power goes out."
Unlike the unfortunate passengers of previous Carnival cruises, guests on the Alabama Queen are promised "a variety of attractive options other than staying on board," although guests "are more than welcome to enjoy the many challenging adventures of 'roughing it,' as the sailors of olde once did, and without complaint."
However, when nature calls and red bio-hazard bags simply won't do even for the most adventurous souls, dozens of day cruisers are available around the clock to transport passengers ashore, where "complimentary portable restrooms will be placed right at the dock to serve all of our Carnival guests (with valid ticket and photo id)."
Although activities will be somewhat curtailed on board the Alabama Queen once she goes dark, Carnival's brochure emphasizes that its passengers "will still be able to enjoy backgammon by candle light and shouting 'Land Ho!' whenever the mood strikes." And, for Carnival's more fitness-conscious guests, "the Port of Mobile is always just a swim away."
The final leg of the Alabama Queen's journey will be powered by tugboat, "as the grande dame of the sea is gently led into port at the leisurely pace of three days and nights."
During this time, any remaining passengers on board are encouraged to "sit back and linger over a glass of room-temperature mint julep, just like the southern belles of olde once did, and without complaint."
© 2.20.13 Kate Heidel