Oops, she's done it again.
photo credit: JOANNAIRE
SPOKESMAN FOR Britney Spears, whose weight loss was revealed by her sizzling gown at last week's Video Music Awards, announced that the singer would be donating her lost pounds "to clinics that specialize in the treatment of anorexia in teenage girls."
Reading from a press release, Spears spokesman Dana Maloney quoted the singer in noting, "Now that I have thighs toned and hot enough to fry an egg on, I want to give my 20 lost pounds to some needy anorexic girls. It's not much, but perhaps I will inspire other stars to donate their pounds as well. I'm thinking of giving John Goodman a treadmill. He could pretty much wipe out anorexia as we know it."
Mr. Maloney was asked to confirm that the singer's poundage was removed by liposuction. "Of course not," insisted Spears' spokesman. "Britney Spears lost her weight the natural way, by diet and exercise. That is why her thighs are so toned and hot."
When asked how pounds that had been lost rather than extracted could be physically donated, Mr. Maloney replied, "Ms. Spears is a can-do kind of person who doesn't have time for naysayers. She has every confidence that our scientists will find a way to distill her former pounds out of the atmosphere. It's just that kind of innovation that makes this the greatest country on earth, by the way."
Ms. Spears plans next to donate her lost driving skills and common sense to Mothers Against Drunk Driving and Paris Hilton, respectively.
© 2008 Kate Heidel