First Lady Michelle Obama Reveals Too Much Personality

Some urge her to cover it up, along with her arms and legs.

Michelle Obama
photo credit: Tadias Magazine

N CONCERT WITH the criticisms regarding Michelle Obama's bare arms in sleeveless dresses, and her uncovered legs in summer shorts, some observers of the First Lady have added to their list of affronts her "slightly brighter than seemly" personality, which they suggest should be toned down during the years Mrs. Obama is the nation's First Lady.

Noted one observer, who wished to remain anonymous "so that I can criticize without fear of reprisal criticism," Mrs. Obama's smile alone "is just a shade this side of sparkly, and should be rehabilitated to, let's say, warm. But not inviting, because that would imply a certain looseness of character, and she's already got those short shorts broadcasting to the whole world, for Pete's sake."

Other areas of the First Lady's personality "needing a little softening" according to some observers are the "oversized gleam" in her eye, the "confidence-laced grip" of her handshake, and the "suspicious optimism" heard throughout her speeches.

"No one speaks that way naturally," said the anonymous observer. "You have to work to sound so self-assured and humorous. And is that what this nation needs right now? A First Lady who just takes over the podium and makes people laugh and applaud? I hardly think so."

As a bonus critique, First Lady watchers also maintain a list of items considered too bright on Mrs. Obama's actual person. The list includes but is by no means limited to the First Lady's lipstick, jewelry, hairspray, all manner of buckles, nail polish, perfume, headbands, and White House gardening tools.

"Maybe they should just burka her for the duration," sighed the exasperated Michelle observer. "Then she could come out for air when she's left D. C. for good."