White House Pooch 'Bo' Will Handle Future Negotiations with Republicans

Same initials as President, but much better bargaining skills, notes Democratic party leaders.


N REACTION to President Obama's dismal negotiating efforts on the debt-ceiling crisis, leading to a Republican wish list of budget cuts in a stalled economy, inside sources say the White House is considering the Obamas' pet pooch Bo as the lead negotiator in any future discussions with Republicans.

One source said the President's budget team had floated the idea right after Mr. Obama's press conference Sunday night.

"They told the President, 'Even if Bo's an adorable dog with lots of fluffy fur, he surely has more fight than you,'" the source explained.

Obama was said to have been initially dismissive of the idea, but quickly began caving when his staff showed him pictures of John Boehner looking annoyed.

"When we suggested Bo, the President got very short with us, but when we said that the Republicans would seriously consider the idea, well that got the President's attention, as it always does," said one anonymous staffer.

The White House pooch has already met with Democratic party leaders, who point out that, although the Portuguese Water Dog possesses the same initials as the President, that's where the similarity ends.

"Bo's negotiating skills are far more effective," said one party leader. "He fights back when we try to take his bowl away and give it to a dog that already has three bowls. This is a step in the right direction for Democrats."

Although Bo's approach to negotiating with Republicans will likely be far less verbal than the President's, one staffer said that in practice sessions "Bo has not signaled right at the outset that he's the beta dog, which will be a really nice change."

Democratic House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi was hopeful of the new leadership, saying "we are all looking forward to working with Bo in the coming months" and batting away rumors that bones and chew toys might get in the way of meaningful progress.

"On the contrary," said the House Minority Leader. "Whenever Speaker Boehner starts growling, we'll have something to throw at him other than the social safety net."