Candidate's most voluminous 'do yet no match for tiny grey matter.
URING THE much-anticipated Republican debate Wednesday evening, audience members and television viewers alike were stunned to see Minnesota's Michele Bachmann tip over on her side during her response to a question about taxes.
"A Bachmann administration will not raise taxes on the middle class," Bachmann began, "and I will hold the line on—hold the line on—ooops!" at which point the congresswoman tilted to the right and fell sideways, hitting the floor like a beam of wood.
Ms. Bachmann was whisked to a medical room at the Reagan library, where observers overheard the Republican candidate mumbling something about socialized medicine. The congresswoman was given x-rays to determine if she had sustained any broken bones.
Jack Thompson, a radiology technician in the medical room, reviewed the x-rays on the spot.
"It was then we realized," said Mr. Thompson, speaking only on condition of anonymity, "that Michele Bachmann's brain was too small to hold up her enormous head of hair, which you may have noticed has gotten bigger and bigger with each T.V. appearance.
"It's like when you have flowers too heavy for your vase," continued Mr. Thompson, of Coral Gables, Florida. "They're just going to tip over."
The congresswoman has shaken off concerns that her tiny brain may not be up to the rigors of the presidency, saying only, "if my brain was good enough to raise 23 foster children, it's good enough to take on the national debt, foreign policy, and terrorism. That's only three things! One, two, three!!"
An adviser on Ms. Bachmann's election committee has confirmed that her candidate will be getting a haircut "to lessen the strain on her diminutive brain. And we'll be speaking in rhymes for the rest of her campaign. It'll be lots of fun to help Michele run.
"Run, Michele, run," she added.
© 9.9.11 Kate Heidel
