Michele Bachmann Hears from Terri Schiavo in the Beyond: Kill Health Reform!

Also, our cats and dogs are trying to tell us something.

N A LAST-ditch effort to sink the Health Care Reform bill, Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann stated in a recent interview that the late Terri Schiavo pleaded with her from beyond the grave to "please kill the Health Reform bill before it kills more innocent people like me!"

The effusive legislator said that she had been "in deep counsel with the Lord" when the Almighty informed Ms. Bachmann that Terri Schiavo was standing beside Him.

"And I said 'Oh, Lord, may I speak with Terri?' And the Lord said, 'Sure.'"

Ms. Bachmann reported that Terri Schiavo "seemed very agitated and could speak very clearly now that she was no longer trapped in her body."

The legislator went on to say that Ms. Schiavo "prevailed upon me to loose the grip of the Health Reform bill on America," and begged Ms. Bachmann "to send the word out that we must call Congress to halt this evil legislation before a single innocent person is dragged before a death panel in chains."

At that point, Ms. Bachmann said, "Miss Schiavo got off the line and gave me back to God. What a lovely girl."

Then, according to Ms. Bachmann, the Lord said unto her, "Go and heed the counsel of the domesticated pets among you, yea, those who abide inside your dwellings, not so much the larger domesticated beasts such as cows or goats, who roam the property, laying waste to your grass or to laundry on the line, as the case may be."

Recalled the Congresswoman, "Some of you may remember how Lassie could convey so much with just a bark or a whimper. Well, the next time your pooch or kitty gazes up at you imploringly, the Lord says, 'Take their counsel!' Call Congress and simply insist they kill health reform. Before it kills you! Because if you are destroyed by socialism, where's kitty's next meal coming from?"

Ms. Bachmann said that the Lord requested a follow-up call after Congress votes on the bill, as soon as this coming weekend.

"He said I should ask for Terri, and that she'll pass the word up to Him," said the Congresswoman. "Apparently He's working on some contingency pestilence and plagues of locusts in case things go badly."