Jennifer Aniston on Emirates Airline Ad: 'I Am SO Sorry I Offended All the Little People'

Ultra-wealthy actress had no idea her luxury T.V. spot for EA might rankle the rank and file.

photo credit: Carlos Amorim

CTRESS AND luxury-class passenger Jennifer Aniston is feeling the heat from her recent ad for the private carrier Emirates Airline. Ms. Aniston is depicted dreaming that she has found herself on an ordinary airline, then learning to her horror that there are no showers available and no roomy lounge in which to sip martinis after showering.

Luckily, Ms. Aniston will not be denied luxury accommodations and full amenities on EA, since she was reportedly paid $5 million for her appearance in the ad.

However, the actress is now doing damage control as best she can since receiving criticism for her tone-deaf portrayal of a pampered rich woman who has no conception of the in-flight experiences of ordinary people who have net worths considerably south of her $150 million.

"Believe me," said the actress to a People reporter, "I am SO sorry I offended all the little people out there who read your sweet little magazine with all the pictures," she began. "But I just want to say in my own defense, who wouldn’t be horrified to be told that all that the staff could offer you was a warm towel and a tiny bag of peanuts?? I mean, isn’t that a nightmare in anyone’s book?!"

When informed by the People reporter that warm towels and a tiny bag of peanuts were precisely what was on offer on a typical coach flight with the average commercial carrier, Ms. Aniston flinched.

"Ohmygod! You are kidding me, right?? You’re not kidding? Well, that’s just horrible! That should not be allowed!! Someone should do something this very instant!" the actress cried out, pinching herself.

"But surely there are nicely appointed bars to drink at? I mean, if you’re stuck on one of these horrible planes without showers, at least you can head to the lounge and have the bartender fix you a nice, chilled martini, isn’t that right??"

Ms. Aniston ran out of the room screaming when she learned otherwise, apparently convinced that she was having an actual nightmare, as opposed to pretending to have one and receiving $5 million.