Romney, Ryan Still Standing Around Together Waving and Smiling

Wives coming to take them home.

photo credit: James Currie

ESPITE LOSING decisively in the 2012 presidential contest, Republicans Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan were spotted in Iowa City early Thursday morning, standing on an empty platform together, waving and smiling.

Missy Larkin was walking her dog in the park when she spotted the Republicans.

"They were standing all alone on the stage where we have our Fourth of July celebrations," explained Ms. Larkin. "They were smiling and waving, only no one was there," she said. "Well, no one but me and my schnauzer Roland."

Ms. Larkin took a photo of the pair with her smartphone and emailed it to her local paper, which promptly posted it online.

A few curious townspeople wandered past the former candidates, but didn't stop.

"We're kind of tired of whole thing," said one resident. "I hope they don't plan on doing this forever. Is someone going to call the police?"

Mr. Romney's wife, Ann, immediately ordered her husband's pilot to fuel up the private jet upon hearing the news.

"The local airport has given us clearance, and I'm flying out to be with my husband as quickly as Juanita can pack my bags," said Mrs. Romney. "But it is so hard to get good help these days, and now it's only going to get harder," she lamented.

Mrs. Romney also said she had "graciously" invited Paul Ryan's wife Janna to join her on the Romney jet, "although I hope she doesn't wear that unfortunate outfit I saw her in a few days ago," said Mrs. Romney. "It was so very 'Dress Barn.'"

Janna Ryan said she would try to talk her husband down from the stage by promising him a visit to a local soup kitchen.

"I know Paul loves to pretend he's washing dishes for the needy, so maybe I can make him believe there are more photo-ops in his future," said Mrs. Ryan, wiping away a tear. "It's worth a try, isn't it?"

Several Iowa City residents have taken it upon themselves to find warm coats for Romney and Ryan, in case the two men continue standing and waving into the evening before their wives can coax them down.

"It gets pretty nippy here at night this time of year," said Ms. Larkin.