Jane: Well, good morning, Sally!!
Sally: Hi Jane! Say, I'm just stopping by to steal a cup of sugar!
Jane: Hoho, you scamp! Come on in and have a cup of coffeeit's fresh brewed!
Sally: It smells like a Parisian cafe in here, Jane! How do you do it?
Jane: Well, Sal, it's all in the beansMajors, of course!
Sally: Majors?! I thought they were the cheap brand!
Jane: There's cheap and then there's a good buy, Sal! Here, just take a sip!
Sally: Wellokay! Wow!! That doesn't taste cheap! I'm switchingtoday!! Well, look who's up! Hi Caitlin! You're looking chipper today! I guess you won't be needing your Mom's delicious coffee! More for me!
Caitlin: Good Morning! [Stretches expansively.] Boy, I just got the sleep of a lifetime last night!
Sally: Was someone out late with her boyfriend? [Winks at Jane.]
Caitlin: No. [Yawns loudly.] Billy had practice.
Jane: Catie's been taking Funk-off, Sally!! Now her worries are a thing of the past!
Sally: Why, Jane, I'm
Jane: Oh-ho, it's nothing to be concerned about, Sal! Funk-off is a safe and effective treatment for mild to moderate depression, when taken as directed! Ask your doctor!
Sally: Well, I have been feeling a little listless latelyokay, I will! Say, where's Bob this morning? Traveling on business again?
Jane: That's what he tells me, but I don't believe it for a minute!
Sally: Jane! You don't?
Jane: No, hoho! I've got my ear to the ground, and he's having an affair! With his secretary!! How 'bout a top off for that coffee, Sal?
Sally: Well, sure, but Jane, I
Jane: Yes, with the professionals at Larsen Investigators, I think we've got an open-and-shut case! I never could have done it without them! Here's their card, Sal, because as the folks at Larsen say, "You can never be too sure"!!
Sally: Why, thanks, Jane, I'll give them a call at their toll-free number!
Jane: And it's so easy to remember! Just dial 1-800-SNOOPIT!
Sally: What's that number again, Jane? I've forgotten my glasses!
Jane: That's 1-800-SNOOPIT, Sal! Give them a call, and tell them I sent you!!
Sally: I will, Jane, thanks!! Say, Jane, before I go
Jane: Don't be in a hurry to run off, Sally! Here's a refill, and how about a pastry from Bentman's?!
Sally: Oh, Jane, you're too much! Why, sure, I'd love a Bentman's pastrybecause they're
Unison: The Pastriest!!
Sally: Oh, I just love their mottoAND buttery pastry goodness!!
Jane: AND variety!!
Unison: No kidding!!!
Jane: Say Sal, how about making that coffee an Irish CREME coffeemmmmm, yummy!!
Sally: Oh, I don't know, Jane . . .
Jane: Hoho, Sal, it's a great way to unwind after all that caffeine!
Sally: Wellokay! Why, you're the bestest hostess in the neighborhood, Jane!! Oops! I said "bestest"!!
Jane: That's because you're sipping McBiddlesthe bestest Irish Creme in all the land!! I think I'll join ye, lass!!
Sally: Yes, join me in a bit o' the 'Biddles!!
Caitlin: Mom, are you drinking McBiddles again for breakfast?
Jane: Come and join us, honey! I'll brew some fresh hod brew!!
Caitlin: No, you two go aheadI'm on Funk-off, remember?
Jane: 'Member? I put you onit, snookums!! Say, honey, d'joo get laid yet, or what!
Caitlin: Mom!! In front of Sally!!
Sally: Don' mine me, sweetie, g'out 'n get some, jus' like Moomy says! Hey! Janie! We're 'vorce, right?
Jane: ME am! Almos you too, hahahhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
Sally: D-IV-RCEEE!!! Likesongsez. HAAA!!!
Jane: WHOO! Breathbomb bigtime.
Sally: Oh gaah, sahree!!
Jane: NO f'in problemo. F'in f'in f'in. BAD GIRLS!!
Sally: BAA GIRS BAA GIRS!!
Caitlin: You know what, Ladies? I think it's time for your morning nap! Come along with me now, girls. Nap time for Mommy and Sal.
Jane: Nappy nappy HAAAA!
Sally: oknappy. Cig'rette!!
Caitlin: No-o-o-o, just nappy, okay?
© 2007 Kate Heidel